This is a post about the United States of America.

With November right around the corner I have begun to get nostalgic for a year ago when we as Americans elected our nation's first Afro-American president. I remember how proud I felt of America for "being the change" it needed and breaking new ground by voting a minority into the highest office this country knows.


With a year almost come and gone, I've started thinking about our next presidential election and how we can go a step further into the stratosphere of social progression and enlightenment. We elected a black guy, now how can we top that in 2012? We gathered our team of the best political and cultural minds in the country to come up with ideas on how to change America for the best even more in the coming years, here are some of the things they came up with.

-Elect an African-American butch lesbian into office.


-Elect an openly gay Scientologist into office.


-Elect an "angry" black man into office.


-Elect a transsexual atheist into office.


-Elect a pot-loving abortionist into office.


-Elect the entire cast of "The View" into office as one presidential entity.


-Dig up the corpse of a slave, bring them back to life with science/divine intervention and make them president to show we're really sorry about racism/slavery a million years ago.


-Allow the cast of "Sex in The City" to take turns being president, rotating every week or so.


-Hold a raffle where average citizens are randomly chosen to hold office for one month as POTUS.


-Amend the constitution so foreign born people can qualify for the presidency, then elect an Islamic militant to show that there are "no hard feelings" towards the Middle East.


-Elect Jennifer Love Hewitt's titties into office.


-Build a Hooters inside of a Toys 'r Us.


-Hug a nun.


-Draw a picture of a Muppet nun.



-Fuck this girl.


-Fuck this guy.


-Eat at Joe's.


-"Obey".


-Obey your thirst and root for the Dallas Mavericks.


-Codpiece.



-Watch the intro to "Clarissa Explains It All".


-Have "fun."


-Catch them all.


-Locate "the beef."


-Get "jiggy wit it"


-Did you fuck this guy yet?



I think if we implement some of these suggestions into the next election, America will without a doubt be the most progressive, forward thinking place on Earth and will set an even better example for lesser countries, like Canada and Tennessee.

Living in post-racial America.

It's almost been a year since the November elections when America chose Barack Obama as the first ever black president of the United States, thus putting a proverbial bullet into the head of racism and killing it forever. Right? I mean, we have a black guy running shit now, that means America has finally gotten past its racial hangups and sullied past. We, as Americans, can now honestly say we longer see color.


Let's be honest, the term "post-racial America" has been adopted by conservatives who want to spin Obama's being elected into an irreproachable excuse to remain as racist and bigoted as they've always been, if not more so.


I'm no "conspiracy nut" or anything, but I sometimes get the feeling Obama was only elected into office as a kind of courtesy service for blacks and all other minorities, and a way for "guilty" white liberals to cover their asses. It's kind of like the equivalent of having a token black/brown/yellow friend to prove you're not racist...or owning the movie "Crash" in your DVD collection.


After Obama's four years of being the HNIC (Head Nigga in Charge) are up it will be back to business again. Some old white man will take his rightful place as POTUS and America can forever pat itself on the back and say "See, we're not so bad, we let a black guy try and lead for four whole years! That was fun, but now let's get serious again." Of course I could be totally off base here, and I hope I am. I would love to believe America is legitimately "changing" for the better, but the pessimist in me just won't allow it.