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My first reaction after watching was "Does Quentin Tarantino know about this?" and my second reaction was "This song kind of sucks, why's it get a nine minute video?" and my third and final reaction was "Women's prisons are just as hot as Cinemax advertised, ass cheeks!" Now, I'm not the most cultured or smartest guy around, so maybe I just don't "get" this video or Lady GaGa's whole shtick in general, but I find myself asking "What's the big fucking deal?" Why is she viewed as this genius who isn't afraid to "push the envelope" and "go there"? Is it because she wears soda cans in her hair? Because she owns a pair of cigarette sun glasses? Because she "goes both ways" when it comes to coming? Do all those things warrant the critical and commercial accolades heaped upon Gags? Didn't Madonna do all of this shit like 60 years ago? I don't know, you tell me. Like I said, I might not be smart enough or artistically inclined enough to understand.
What's Lady Gaga's music about anyway? I'm so morbidly fascinated with her bizarre uniforms and her visual presentation that I haven't had time to actually listen to the lyrics. Does she just sing about dancing and getting fucked up at the club and making out with men and women, or do some of her songs "say something" about American society or, like, Africa? Sometimes I get the feeling she's an American version of Bjork, but somehow lacking any substance. But I can't really stand behind this theory 100 percent because I'm not sure if Bjork is a "credible artist" herself or just a sideshow attraction. Anyway, I think the real point here is, unless your name is Michael Jackson, you really have no business making a music video exceeding five minutes. The man's only been dead a few months, let the body at least get cold first, Jesus.
