Golden Globe Recap Post?

I'm a bit confused as to what this blog is about anymore. Initially I thought it was going to focus primarily on the trials and tribulations of a 20-something trapped in a perpetual state of adolescence. Then I thought it would just be a place for me to express my (illegal/morally reprehensible?) admiration for teenage girls. Finally I thought it would just be a place where I made fun of celebrities, kind of like that journalist Perez Hilton. My blog has gone through so many different identity crisis, I feel like a bi-racial person who has to choose between being black or being black but with lighter skin. It's very frustrating but at the same time I feel I have an unique perspective to be able to blog about anything I want. Since this is the internet and everyone's opinion is important, I'm under the delusion my blog can inspire people and help them gain insight into a particular subject they might have lacked before. That's why I think it's important I blog about last night's Golden Globes award ceremony.


Before I begin I just want make it absolutely clear that I did not physically watch the Golden Globes with my eyes and that I had no idea what a Golden Globe was until seventeen minutes ago. OK, so I guess the best course of action is to go down the list of winners and offer my unique and invaluable insight. So without further ado...

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture- Mo'nique,Precious
I remember I predicted this movie would win an Oscar in my now classic "Oscar Bait" post. I think Mo'nique deserved to win this award because she is generally considered a comedian and I feel that whenever a comedian steps out of their comfort zone and try their hand at drama they deserve to be recognized for it just because. It's like a truck driver trying to preform open heart surgery. Most likely they're going to fail, but they should receive accolades for being bold enough to try, even though someone needlessly died in the process.

Best Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical- Toni Collette, United States of Tara.
That's that show by Diablo Cody, the stripper who's responsible for Juno. I'm a bit appalled by this one. I honestly feel that Diablo Cody is a determent to humanity and all things pure. I feel she shouldn't be allowed to express herself creatively in any public forum available for mass consumption. Which reminds me and I forgot to mention this months ago, but I'm really pleased that her latest motion picture Jennifer's Body was a total box office failure.

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television- John Lithgow, Dexter.
Haha, he played that alien in that one show about aliens.

Best Animated Feature Film - Up.
My Mom liked this movie, so I don't really want to say anything derogatory about it because I want her to continue paying my rent.

Best Actor in a Television Series, Drama- Michael C. Hall, Dexter.
I don't know who that is. Is Dexter a live-action spin off to Dexter's Laboratory?


Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama- Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife.
I don't know what that is.

Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television- Grey Gardens.
Now I'm really confused. I thought Grey Gardens was a family friendly theme park or resort for middle-aged married couples on the brink of divorce.


Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy- Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia.
Isn't that the movie where she plays Mrs. Doubtfire but with Asperger syndrome and Amy Adams is her little sister who bonds with her over baking? Haha, sounds pretty screw ball, I'm glad it won.

Best Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television- Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance.
Kevin Bacon showed his penis in Wild Things and in a deleted scene from Footloose.

Best Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television- Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens.
Again with the Grey Garden, what the hell.

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture- Jason Reitman, Up in The Air
I love the performance Reitman got out of George Clooney in this movie. I think this was his best work since Batman & Robin.

Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical- Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock.
I read somewhere Alec's chest hair is so dense that Stephen Baldwin's career got lost in there, never to be found again.

Best Foreign Language Film- The White Ribbon.
Sounds pretty foreign.

Best Television Series, Drama- Mad Men.
This is that show about business men with erectile dysfunction if I'm not mistaken. A really powerful show for not being afraid to touch on taboo subjects like that. I'm really happy it won.

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television- Chloe Sevigny, Big Love.
Chloe Sevigny preformed fellatio on Vincent Gallo.

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture- Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds.
I think "bastards" is spelled incorrectly on purpose. Quentin Tarantino is such a visionary.

Best Director - Motion Picture- James Cameron, Avatar
Never heard of it.

Best Televison Series, Comedy or Musical- Glee
These are the same people that did "Prop 8 The Musical, right?

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical- The Hangover.
This is the movie that launched the career of Jack Black.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama- Sandra Bullock, The Blindside.
I really hope she signs on for Speed 3: The Musical.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy- Robert
Downey Jr., Sherlock Holmes
I liked him a lot in that movie where he was in black face, haha.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama- Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Remember "The Dude"? Hahaha, he wrote a check for a carton of milk!

And then Avatar won for best motion picture with blue people or some shit, blah blah blah.

Wow, that was really pointless.