Jail Bait!

First, let's get one thing straight, guys love teenage girls, all guys. Teenage guys love 'em, college guys love 'em, creepy middle aged guys love 'em and decrepit old guys hooked up to life support love 'em. Hell, even gay guys love 'em (for different reasons, obviously! Right?! Right.) Now "society" may say it's "wrong" to lust after these young women because they're considered "minors", but if Jerry Lee Lewis, Robert Kelly, Marvin Gaye and Humbert Humbert have taught us anything it's this: Follow your heart. It worked out for them! With that said, Perpetual Adolescent Funk presents Jail Bait '09, four of the most desirable underage celebrities we would risk doing time for because we just can't help ourselves!

Miley Cyrus

Between this picture and the "pole dance" she preformed at the Children's Choice Awards or whatever, all we have to say is: she's totally "asking for it"!

Selena Gomez

Whereas Miley is the embodiment of your classic "slutty" girl next door, Selena exudes class and sophistication, and plus, she just looks soooo cute in her bathing suit! OMG she's adorable!

Dakota Fanning

Dakota is truly a remarkable young woman. She went from looking like a veiny, thin skinned alien child into certified all American teenage jail bait. She held her own recently with Hollywood heavy hitters Alica Keyes, Queen Latifah and Jennifer Hudson in "Some Black Women and a Little White Girl." We're pretty sure the movie won multiple awards because it's about racism and stuff. Take it from us when we say you'll be seeing more great things from Miss Fanning in the near future.

Icarly from "Icarly"

We love ethnically ambiguous teens!

HOT DAMN!