Happy Halloween!!

Now that I'm older and can no longer fully get into the Christmas Spirit because I now know Santa was a "hoax" and I'm expected to give gifts, not merely receive them, Halloween has become my undisputed most favoritest holiday ever! It's the only time of the year (excluding St. Patrick's Day I suppose) when grown-ass men and women can dress up in costumes, get obscenely drunk and not feel ashamed or embarrassed the following morning. With that said, let's take a look at some of the wacky and inventive Halloween costumes people are donning this year!


Fiesta Santa! Cool costume!


This woman dressed up as Christina Ricci's forehead, that's using your ol' noggin! LOL.


Look, it's "Mclovin" from the popular teen drama Superbad!


I think this guy's suppose to be "liver disease" or a really tall Oompa-Loompa.


Kristen Stewart from the movie Twilight.



This little chick is dressed up as "jail bait" or "Miley Cyrus."



An Irish potato farmer.



This guy's going trick or treating as a "homosexual".


Frida Kahlo.



Rock dinosaur Dee Snider.


A "crazy man."


An African-American Harry Potter.

Remember gang, be safe this year if you're going trick or treating, don't accept any apples with razor blades in them or poisoned candy. :D

Yo! What are you listening to (again again)?!

Today I'm listening to a band called "The Lil' Hospital." I'm guessing they fall under the category of "twee pop" or "indie pop" or "music that could potentially get your ass kicked if listened to in certain areas/situations pop" or "pussy music pop."


I think this band is super underground/credible/"good" because they don't have a Wikipedia article on them, so feel free to "name drop" them and mention where you heard of them (the most credible blog around, Perpetual Adolescent Funk) to impress friends and family. Here's the video for their song "Big Sister in Hollywood." Hopefully you find the music and visual aesthetics to your liking.

"Baby on board"? I don't give a shit.

Please stand by for a "rant":


I've always been confused when I see motor vehicles displaying this sticker:


I'm sure everyone has seen at least one while driving and probably never even gave it a second thought, which kind of defeats the purpose of even having the sticker in the first place. Obviously the people who utilize them want other motorists to be aware of the "precious cargo" in their cars, but why do they feel this is necessary? Are they simply bragging that they have indeed successfully "fucked" and produced a child and that said child is now safely strapped in its baby seat on the way to the park/doctor/Disney on Ice? Nobody likes a braggart and being able to shit out a kid is no major accomplishment, even the lowest forms of life can do that (see:unwed teenage mothers and Nicole Richie).




I think the real reason for the Baby on board sticker is to "warn" other vehicles to drive extra cautiously because there is a child in the car. But even that doesn't really "cut any ice" with me. I don't know about you, but I find it insulting these breeding assholes assume I'm a horrible driver when I'm not alerted to the presence of a child by a piece of laminated plastic stuck to a rear window. What nerve these smug sonsofbitches must have. What, do they just take it for granted I'm some psychopath who would attempt to run them off the road if it weren't for the sticker? Do they think I have some mental affliction where I wouldn't hesitate to do some outlandish/potentially dangerous shit while behind the wheel of my car if not for that one saving grace, a Baby on board sticker? Fuck them. Fuck them and their spawn, OK?


Newsflash dickheads, no one gives a fuck about you, your baby or your sticker. If it's my whim to do so I will endanger your safety on the open road, sticker or no sticker, that's life. That's how the cookie crumbles. DEAL WITH IT.

END OF RANT.

This is a post about the United States of America.

With November right around the corner I have begun to get nostalgic for a year ago when we as Americans elected our nation's first Afro-American president. I remember how proud I felt of America for "being the change" it needed and breaking new ground by voting a minority into the highest office this country knows.


With a year almost come and gone, I've started thinking about our next presidential election and how we can go a step further into the stratosphere of social progression and enlightenment. We elected a black guy, now how can we top that in 2012? We gathered our team of the best political and cultural minds in the country to come up with ideas on how to change America for the best even more in the coming years, here are some of the things they came up with.

-Elect an African-American butch lesbian into office.


-Elect an openly gay Scientologist into office.


-Elect an "angry" black man into office.


-Elect a transsexual atheist into office.


-Elect a pot-loving abortionist into office.


-Elect the entire cast of "The View" into office as one presidential entity.


-Dig up the corpse of a slave, bring them back to life with science/divine intervention and make them president to show we're really sorry about racism/slavery a million years ago.


-Allow the cast of "Sex in The City" to take turns being president, rotating every week or so.


-Hold a raffle where average citizens are randomly chosen to hold office for one month as POTUS.


-Amend the constitution so foreign born people can qualify for the presidency, then elect an Islamic militant to show that there are "no hard feelings" towards the Middle East.


-Elect Jennifer Love Hewitt's titties into office.


-Build a Hooters inside of a Toys 'r Us.


-Hug a nun.


-Draw a picture of a Muppet nun.



-Fuck this girl.


-Fuck this guy.


-Eat at Joe's.


-"Obey".


-Obey your thirst and root for the Dallas Mavericks.


-Codpiece.



-Watch the intro to "Clarissa Explains It All".


-Have "fun."


-Catch them all.


-Locate "the beef."


-Get "jiggy wit it"


-Did you fuck this guy yet?



I think if we implement some of these suggestions into the next election, America will without a doubt be the most progressive, forward thinking place on Earth and will set an even better example for lesser countries, like Canada and Tennessee.

I'm goin' to Acapulco.

Two years ago I saw an amazing movie based on the music and many lives of Bob Dylan. This particular scene from said movie, which I am going to share with you today, really struck a nerve with me, so much so that I can't find the words to articulate why it resonates so deeply, it's sort of like a "you just had to be there" vibe. "Enjoy" -Seymour.

Miley Cyrus picture post!!!!

It's been too long since we've blogged about everyone's favorite little diva Miley Cyrus, so let's do this (it's a party in the USA!)


Miley with some haggard old slut (her future self???)


Miley with an African-American child.


She's just being Miley/silly!


Pretending to play the guitar. So precious.


Looking up to the heavens thanking Jesus for the opportunity to do what she loves for a living and for push-up bras and short-shorts.


Here's a video of some cutie trying to play "Party In the USA" by Miley Cyrus, who else?!



Bye Miley!